Almost as exciting as losing your virginity, surfing your first handshape is much the same.

As you slice and plane and shave hips and curves into a lifeless mannequin of a blank, you can't help but dream about what moves to put on her (or him). Then you dress her (or him) up in fine weave and colours. You buy gifts; new fins, a stomp pad, new board sock, maybe a leash... And you say finally 'I'm ready' and head down to the beach.

You're both nervous. You sex [wax] him or her up and head out to sea where you lay atop and struggle to find your balance. It's awkward and messy at first you find your groove and get into the rhythm of things.

You find a spot you both like (in the line-up) and stroke and glide in to a summer lump and find your feet; pump, pump, pump. Lips meet and bang! Wet, wild, and raw. Spray all over the place and you both fall in love and lust.

Your first time is better than you could ever imagine and walk away with a wide dopey grin on your face like 'Y'know what I just did?' Nothing can be so satisfying.